While I am recording this, it’s still pretty much a secret that we’re pregnant, but by the time this airs, you will all have known! The topic of today’s episode is something that weighed heavily on me. It is the concept of both not either. Because growing up, I always knew I wanted to be a mom. I truly believe for me it was wired in and I knew it was something that I wanted other than a career. Though I enjoyed it, it was almost secondary. Now that I’ve created my own career, and my own business that I love, I am not ready to give it up. I don’t want to give it up. Well, does it want me to give it up and I love what it demonstrates for our baby on the way? Because it’s the same thing that my parents demonstrated when they had their business. I want to demonstrate that for my child. I will be honest, it was hard in the industry that I was in. I continued to be in a male dominated industry, working in corporate law and just in the legal industry in general. Where climbing the ladder and working unreasonable hours is the norm. If you don’t believe in doing it that way, you are breaking tradition. It is almost a choice to some degree that says you have to pick one, choose your family or choose your career. But I wanted both, and to be honest, I did not happen upon the situation that I am in right now, but it’s something that I’ve been laying the foundation for a very long time.
WE CAN DO BOTH, NOT EITHER
When I heard of the concept of both verbs, it really resonated with me and I thought that this is a conversation that we don’t have enough of, especially as women. Now, I am not saying that there isn’t a full time job in being a stay at home mom. I am not saying that if you want to do that, that there is any harm in that is any less of a success than having your own business or having a job, whatever it may be. But, you should be able to choose which of those things that you want and it shouldn’t be an either or, but instead allow yourself to get creative to create both. When I was planning my career, one of the reasons I went to law school was because I felt that it was a career that eventually could be scalable. That was the phrase that I used. It was something that I felt that could be scalable when the time was right, that if I had to step back, I could always step back when it was time. But to be honest, I have evolved and I have realized that even though I thought that I could step away and step back in. Yes, I can still do that today, if that’s what I choose. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
In fact, I can have both. I can have a baby, I can have maternity leave, and I can have a business all at the same time, because that is one level of success that you reach when you realize that you don’t have to choose either or, but with a little creativity that you can have both.
START THE CONVERSATION
I believe this is a conversation that is not heard enough among women. Where we talk about how we want to do both and how we’re going to lay the foundation to create that for ourselves. I want to challenge you to think about the things that you value in your life. See how you can integrate both with a little creativity. I want time, freedom, but I want to make more money. What creativity do I have to take to get there? What passive income stream do I need to create in my business to allow me to lay the groundwork for that to flourish? What do I have to plant if I want to do more in my business, but also have more time for my family? We go wrong when we tell ourselves that in order to spend more quality time with our family, we have to make less money or something must give. Sometimes we are not giving ourselves the time to step back and look at the problem. The problem that maybe is not a problem and we will grow bigger than the problem and realize that with some creativity, there’s probably a solution and maybe it’s not in the moment, but it can be something that we begin to work towards. Because, I believe as women, we have so much power to offer to this world and a unique perspective on life and business. That if we want to do both, we should. When we step into it and I don’t know, because I haven’t done it yet, the other side of motherhood, that all the lessons that I learned there will make me a better businesswoman, and I am sure that’s the case.
CHALLENGING THE STATUS QUO
I am here today challenging the fact that we cannot do both, that we cannot have successful careers and be a mother, that we can’t have successful careers and be present with our loved ones. That was one of the reasons that we have grown and expanded our team in my law firm. I wanted a team of people who shared that value of wanting a career and wanting to make an impact in that way. But, not at the expense of losing quality time with family, loved ones, friends and their children. Because I believe that we can do both.
I want to challenge you to think about the things that maybe you have been putting off until the time is right and sometimes shelving ideas is great, especially for passionate entrepreneurs. The time is not always right for everything. But, think about the groundwork that you can begin to lay so that you don’t always feel like the things that you want in your life are competing, or that they are a trade off. Find ways to create room for both.
That is one step that I have taken this year as I prepare for motherhood. I am bringing on more people into my team. I am enrolling more people in my vision because I want to impact more people throughout my business. But, I also want time to enjoy maternity leave and I want to have those moments, so I am getting creative and I am taking the uncomfortable steps like hiring instead of just outsourcing, but actually becoming responsible for somebody else’s income. The investment in that person is going to help me achieve the balance of doing both.
I hope today’s episode was helpful. I found that this was just something that resonated with me and has always resonated with me. But each and every day I find a new way to take it to the next level. There is so much beauty and refinement in finding a more simple way. To do all the things that we want in our life, all of the things that are going to fill our cup. Realize that there’s more to life than our business and that the seasons of life and business are going to require a different version of us at different times. We must allow ourselves to evolve and grow into those people and lay the foundation for a life that allows us to do just that.