Growing up, I always knew I wanted to be a mom. I truly believe for me it was wired in and I knew it was something even more than a successful career. Now that I’ve created my own career within a business that I love, I am not ready to give it up. I don’t want to give it up.
Where climbing the ladder and working unreasonable hours is somehow now the norm. If you don’t believe in doing it that way, you are breaking tradition. It seems to almost a given in society for us (as women) to have to pick one, choose your family or choose your career. But I wanted both. To be honest, the opportunity to do both did not happen by chance. It’s something that I’ve been laying the foundation for a very long time.
WE CAN DO BOTH, NOT EITHER
When I heard of the concept of both not either, it really resonated with me and this is a conversation that we don’t have enough of. Now, I am not saying that there isn’t a full-time job in being a stay-at-home mom that does not make you any less of a success than having your own business or having a job. But this conversation is about choice. You should be able to choose which of those things that you want. No either-or. Instead, allow yourself to get creative to create both. When I was planning my career, one of the reasons I went to law school was because I felt that it was a career that eventually could be “scalable”. That was the phrase that I used. It was something that I felt could be scalable when the time was right, that if I had to step back.
However, that’s either-or. In fact, I can have both. I can have a baby, I can have maternity leave, and I can have a business all at the same time because that is one level of success that you reach when you realize that you don’t have to choose either-or, but with a little creativity that you can have both.
START THE CONVERSATION
I believe this is a conversation that is not spoken about enough among women.
Where we talk about how we want to do both and how we’re going to lay the foundation to create that for ourselves. I want to challenge you to think about the things that you value in your life. See how you can integrate both with a little creativity.
I want time, freedom, but I want to make more money. What creativity do I have to take to get there? What passive income stream do I need to create in my business to allow me to lay the groundwork for that to flourish? What do I have to plant if I want to do more in my business, but also have more time for my family?
We go wrong when we tell ourselves that in order to spend more quality time with our family, we must make less money or something else must give. Sometimes we are not giving ourselves the time to step back and look at the “problem”. When we step back we might see that what we need, is to grow bigger than the problem. We need to realize that with some creativity, there’s probably a solution. While maybe it’s not clear at the moment, but it can be something that we begin to work towards. Because, I believe as women, we have so much power to offer to this world and a unique perspective on life and business. If we want to do both, we should.
CHALLENGING THE STATUS QUO
I am here today challenging the fact that we cannot do both, that we cannot have successful careers and be a mother, that we cannot have successful careers and be present with our loved ones. That was one of the reasons that we have grown and expanded our team in my law firm. I wanted a team of people who shared those values of wanting a career and wanting to make an impact in that way. But, not at the expense of losing quality time with family, loved ones, friends, and their children. Because I believe that we can do both.
I want to challenge you to think about the things that maybe you have been putting off until the time is right or that dream you put on a shelf. Consider the groundwork that you can begin to lay (today) so that you don’t always feel like the things that you want in your life are competing, or that they are a trade-off. Find ways to create room for both.
That is one step that I have taken this year as I prepare for motherhood. I am bringing on more people to my team. I am enrolling more people in my vision because I want to impact more people throughout my business. But, I also want time to enjoy maternity leave and I want to have those moments, so I am getting creative and I am taking the uncomfortable steps like hiring instead of just outsourcing, but actually becoming responsible for somebody else’s income. The investment in that person is going to help me achieve the balance of doing both.
There is so much beauty and refinement in finding a more simple way. To do all the things that we want in our life, all of the things that are going to fill our cup. Realize that there’s more to life than our business and that the seasons of life and business are going to require a different version of us at different times. We must allow ourselves to evolve and grow into those people and lay the foundation for a life that allows us to do just that.